he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
