Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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