hell yes lets make some ravioli
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
