Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
