His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
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I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
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She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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