Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
