But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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