drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
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i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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