I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
