Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Are we still banned from the library?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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