Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
