tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
