yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
