the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
