Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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