in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
