is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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