She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
