i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
