Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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