guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
