your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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