so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Are we still banned from the library?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
