You're so nebulous sometimes
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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