Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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