Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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