the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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