I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
