Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize