How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize