Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
