did i walk over a car last night?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
