Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
