she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
