my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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