I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
