You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
