You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
