just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
zippers are such a cool invention
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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