i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
