i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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