God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
