I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
