wat bout pragnant strippers??
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
