I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
