Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
