I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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