at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
