I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
