You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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