you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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