he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
