Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
