Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We just shotgunned beers for America
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
